North Portland Anti Con 2008


North Portland Anti Con 2008

North Portland Anti Con 2008

 North Portland Anti Con 2008

The Yellow Line


So, a couple of us got together and decided to try and stay away from the downtown mayhem this year and plan something in our own backyard in North Portland.

The plan is to meet at the Paul Bunyan at the Interstate and Denver Max stop and then work our way back into town visiting bars and stopping to play “Santa Games”. We will slowly make our way back north to finish off the day where we started.

Meet at 1PM and go from there! Please remember that it cost $4.50 to buy a day max pass… just because you are dressed up does not mean you can ride for free pal!

A map will be available the week of the event. If you have any questions, please email me or post it here!


40 Responses to “North Portland Anti Con 2008”

  1. Bravo!

    Though you should know that there won’t be mayhem like last year, as Santacon is not going through downtown. Santacon will be roaming in a huge mass pretty much everywhere BUT downtown Portland this year. Mainly, yeah, ’cause of the mayhem.

  2. nopdxanticon Says:

    I think you might want to look into all the people who are planning on meeting at the usual spot downtown who have no idea that nothing is panned there…. all the fun will be had elsewhere!

  3. hell yeah! hillsboro = lame!!!

    spread the word! NoPo Santacon!!!!

  4. re: “I think you might want to look into all the people …”

    yeah, for the most part we figure it serve ’em right if they can’t notice the massive amount of information telling them otherwise . . . but there are a few people who just hear the date and kind of stagger there on autopilot and have done so for many years.

    So basically to avoid screwing them, we will probably have one herder standing by at Skidmore with a big sign informing Santa where to go. And at the other end, some signs leading the way from the MAX blue line to the first activity. As long as they board the MAX by about 12:45 we can get them caught up. After that though, they are kinda out of luck as Santa will no longer be walking distance from the start point.

  5. nopdxanticon Says:

    Pooooor Santa’s all left out in the cold! Im sure there will be something for them to do like go shopping at Saturday market, Kell’s for some soccer, Pioneer Square for a quick Starbuck’s stop…. oh I better stop before someone thinks this is an actual plan!

  6. having had my share of santacons (all good, mind you), this year i am throwing a dart at a metro map and showing up as hanukkah harry. but forget manischewitz, i am bringing a bottle of trader joe côtes du rhone!

  7. Is this place even open anymore????

    Official NE Santa party 9pm
    Chances 3536 MLK
    Free Dj Clause Boss

  8. Where’s the map to the NoPo Santacon

  9. nopdxanticon Says:

    Its in my Santa bag…. the map is done and we want to make sure that any of the ‘ANGRY DOWNTOWN’ Santas dont try and ruin this for the rest of us!

  10. I am really worried that this is a trick. I went to Santacon last year and loved it (I showed up late but joined in at Powells). This year I invited all my friends to come too. Most of them are in college and finals are really stressful so this is really important. They need a party.

    Now I hear from many people that downtown is a trick. Then I hear about this Belmont one but can’t find where they are meeting and I DONT want to walk up and down Belmont in my costume shoes looking for the party! Everyone thinks Hillsboro is a trick too even if it is the official one.

    This is so unfair. It’s really mean to play all these tricks on people just because peopel who did this before everyone else want to be cool and elietist. What would happen if we all complained to the San Francisco people who started this holiday? I bet the PDX ones would lose their jobs.

    I just want to join the party like everyone else and have a good time. Is the one in north Portland real? Just tell me the truth!

  11. Im trying to post a question and this stupid blog keeps saying it is a duplicate! This sux.

  12. nopdxanticon Says:

    This is real… if you check the cacophony page we are right there next to them with their support…. Santa’s just need to get over that its not downtown this year. period.
    There where a couple of us that decided to stay away from downtown after the police politely told us of their plan for the downtown….
    The Hillsboro starts at 12 and we start at 1 under the Paul Bunyan in the kenton neighborhood…. all our stops will be just off the yellow line starting in kenton (denver and interstate) and then making our way down to mississippi area and then finishing back where we started…. the max will always be just a couple of blocks away so if you are done or not having any santa fun well…. the max is right there for anyone.

  13. Amir Santa Says:

    I am inviting about 20 people(that wont go to jail for being stupid) out, I just wanted to know if the places we are going are going to hold enough people. The hillsboro one is definitely a no go to my standards to what a santacon is supposed to me. It also sounds like there are a few people still doing downtown, which is unfortunate for those that are coming from Seattle ect.

  14. nopdxanticon Says:

    We have arranged it so that there are places next to or across the street from most stops…. so you should be able to get your fill of what ever you need…
    there are also 2 liquor stores and no less than 20 convenient stores for ya….

  15. The Real Santa Says:

    “This is so unfair. It’s really mean to play all these tricks on people just because peopel who did this before everyone else want to be cool and elietist. What would happen if we all complained to the San Francisco people who started this holiday? I bet the PDX ones would lose their jobs.”

    First off, fuck you and the horse you came in on.

    I’m a retired herder and SantaCon started out as a Cacophony Society event. It was let out to a couple other lists and it exploded from there. I’ve personally spent over $3000 of my own money on setting cool stuff up. Get that into your skull. A small private group of people worked their asses off to create a cool event, then decided to be cool about it and spread the word outside the group. The herders have to stay sober and fight fires the entire time while getting hassled for 12 hours because person A or B wants us to go to their bar, or to the next one, or a place to eat, or leave the bar they are in, ad naseum.

    Lose our jobs? We pay good money, waste a lot of time, then miss out during the event to try and make your experience better. So knock off the ‘my pussy hurts’ speech, you self absorbed little twit. At least the people here have the courage and brains to make their own Con since they didn’t agree with the current herders. What the fuck have you done for anyone? And when the fuck did I ever get paid?

    You want to know what the fuck happened? Last year over 1000 people came, caused thousands in damage to the bars that let us in, vandalized cars and downtown merchants. The Four Fucks were widely ignored. We used to have a great rapor with the cops and they generally let us be our drunk in public selves. We used to have a great rapor with the downtown bars big enough to hold Santa. All that’s destroyed.

    In a nutshell Princess, no one owes you jack shit. The Con we created has been destroyed in terms of the downtown region due to the people we freely invited in last year. That would be people like you BTW. And yet, rather than asking if you can help us- you berate us for not spending buttloads of our own cash and months of our own time in order to hand deliver you on a silver platter a fun time. Make your own fucking Con, no one is stopping you. These folks here did.

  16. Stormy Santa Says:

    Here, here Real Santa.
    To you mindless ones out there, stop whining and start your own bleedin’ con…
    or go to the Meet up in Portland one on Friday the 12th– You only need a hat dude, just your style….

  17. “if you check the cacophony page we are right there next to them with their support…. ”

    Uh, no you’re not . . .

    sorry… you may need to look a little closer….. maybe you should think about getting some help with your head issues….but until then here is the link.
    Its obvious you should ether go downtown or stay at fucking home!

  18. True dat. Look sure last year was fun but it was waaaaaaaay out of hand any Santa who has been to more than one will agree. Santa is branching out for the simple fact that Santa likes to try new things. I for one think going to NoPo sounds like a much better plan, plus Beaverton is too spread out and the bars out there suck. Count this Santa in. I will spread the word.

  19. Downtown Santacon IS happening … and it IS happening on the 6th. I has megaphone and will leadz you to booze.

  20. Santa Hairball Says:

    Cat’s outta the bag already? That was fast.

    You could have at least said that you don’t want the commoners showing up. Perhaps had your own shindig, kept things to yourself. The tricks weren’t necessary now were they?

    You got me, congrads. I’m just happy that the NoPo is going on.

  21. no more santa Says:

    You jerks are all sad and pathetic and I bet nobody goes to your party this year even if they find it. All 1000 of us from last year are going to find some real fun and leave you sad hippies to cry.

  22. Santa NoPants Says:

    This warms the cockles of my heart.

    Totally not official booze-fueled late-night evaluation with no actual information other than what I read on the internet:

    downtown “santacon” #1 (max line): people who have never tried to put Santa on a MAX and were not there two years ago when we were dumb enough to try it.

    downtown “santacon” #2 (walking): some say trap, some say good effort. Go, you will either get a good time or a good story to tell your cellmate. Run fast enough and you may get both.

    NoPo Anticon: admitting that it sounds like ass-kissing to post this on their blog, but from what I see on the entirely reliable internet that never misleads anyone, this looks like a good bet. Plus, I dig the graphics. I would go there if I was not otherwise engaged.

    Belmont: I keep hearing people bitch about it, but never actually find the websites people reference. It’s either a scam, or the best-kept secret in PDX and is made up of the absolute coolest activities. With free blowjobs. And ponies.

    Hillsboro start/secret route after Hillsboro: A good option for first-timers. May not fly as well with the older Santas. Less of the strange art exhibits and kazoo bands, more of the cheap drinks and dance floors. Those that hated last year will like the second half more, those that loved last year should like the whole thing. Those that can’t get it through their fucking heads that none of us has ever once said Hillsboro is where we are holding it are just not worth convincing.

    NWcon: Seems to have either given up or merged with another con. if it is still on, it looked like they were going for a more purist culture-jamming event based on PDX’s original 1996 style.

    Downtown facebook #1 (birthday party): Fucking doomed, but worth laughing at.

    Downtown facebook #2 (we don’t wanna go to Hillsboro): Mardis Gras wanna-be entitlement whores who will be shocked (Shocked!) to find out that there mere presence up does not magically make Santacon happen. Will likely stumble into the other facebook group and get the same enforced sobriety and expensive lost weekend.

    Greshamcon: Honestly, I think that one was a joke, but in this day and age who can tell? They have not updated the myspace page since they posted the hints of their route, but if they pull it off it looks like they at least got more strip clubs than any other con.

    That nonspecific “Portland Santacon”: The only one I have seen that does not use “PDX” as the name of the town. Why do I bother adding that factoid? Because it is the most interesting thing about that event.

    Armed Woodland Compound Santacon: I could not resist; I had to actually check this one out. Yes, it’s in the woods. Yes, they have weaponry. Yes, you have to know somebody who can vouch for you to even get the location within 15 miles. On pain of death, Santa swore me to secrecy and told me the schedule of events and route. I now know exactly what my threshold of creepout factor is. I . . . I almost feel it’s WRONG to abuse the icon of Santa Claus like that.

    ClacoConcon: I thought this was another scam. It’s not, but they are limiting the numbers of Santas because they rented a bus. They plan to hit downtown PDX (cause I guess they can’t take a hint) as well as taking Santa to several amusement places (roller rink, minigolf, etc) once Santa is scarily messy and drunk. There is talk of smearing mustard on Santa if Santa is not messy enough or the suits somehow got washed after last year.

    wearerightyouarewrongcon: My name, not theirs. Theirs is so politically correct it made me throw up in my mouth a little. Actual phrase from their posting: “Culturally-appropriate iconography of winter-based celebrations, that are spiritually supportive of all Earth views.” I will take a wild guess and say strip club ratio = 0.0%

    Pedalpalooza/Santacon: I can’t tell if this guy is ripping off one event or both. We know he is not a real local Santacon guy (he admits this in his “press release,”) and frankly even my most vehement bike friends want this guy to drive a hummer if it means he drives it far, far away. he does plan to visit a police bike demo though, which just has to be fun to watch.

    There are at least five others that I have seen, but you can just lump them into “generic person on facebook/myspace/craigslist/meetup who wants to be known as the person who runs Santacon so he can get laid, or at least tell his friends that he got laid.” Most seem to be just gathering lists of friends and then planning to go to the event of another person like them who is gathering a list of friends who is planning to go to the event of another person like them . . . this could actually turn out really fucking amazingly fun, actually. Anything that badly planned out just has to erupt into a free-range carnival.

    The first year I attended Santacon? There was one. I feel old.

  23. The Real Santa Says:

    “You jerks are all sad and pathetic and I bet nobody goes to your party this year even if they find it. All 1000 of us from last year are going to find some real fun and leave you sad hippies to cry.”

    Sooooo, the whining pussies are crying in their pathetic Hot Topic Santa Suits while the Santas that made up the event and made it fun- so fun that you wanted to go to it- those Santas get to have fun without you? The Frat Boys and Sorority Girls that bring nothing whatsoever to the event besides crapping in the party bowl downtown that served them?

    Oh no please come. We will be sooooooo sad without you. Really truely. Will you be my BFF?

  24. Hey, do you have the map or schedule yet?????

    We do but are holding it till tomorrow due to fuck head Santas and crazy Magnum PI chick trying to fuck it up for the rest of us…. Just figure that 90% of the stops are off the yellow line.

  25. The Real Santa Says:

    Herder tips:

    Hey Reindeer, just a quick note from experience. Its advice, so take it with a grain of salt.

    Don’t publish a route or times. This does two things.

    1) If there are cops on the list, or that look at the list, you have just given them the ammo to stop your Con if they so feel like it. They could try in the beginning, but then everyone is pretty much sober and legal. Or they can follow you around, but that gets increasingly difficult.

    2) The masses of people are inherently lazy. If you give people the option to come later, they will. Which means less people in the beginning when the fun event stuff happens. Some folks may look at the size of the Red Tide and decide to go elsewhere. What ends up happening then is that there is a smaller group in the beginning, some of them leave, and are replaced later on. If you force people to be real Santas and Con for the whole day- it works better. People that come late due to work issues can always call someone to find out where Santa is.

  26. nopdxanticon Says:

    Thanks man! We where wondering about that…..

  27. Amir Santa Says:

    Its funny though since I work until 3:30pm on sat, and will need to know where to meet up with people, but thats just me. Anyways, this should be about fun and being Santa, I need to say either we need to work a established route out for next year and work with the city so that it may take place without police interferance, or do what we did this year and mess it up for some really sincere people that want to have a good time without being douche bags. Anyways I hope to see you all this year!

  28. The Real Santa Says:

    Well Amir, that’s what cellphones are made for buddy.

    As to working it out with police, think about it. You are going to officially ask them to look the other way on drunk in public? Which is illegal? Along with whatever other recreationals people bring?

    It just doesn’t work that way. We had a strictly unofficial relationship with them for years. Mainly I would talk to them during the route and explain the Four Fucks and about Sercret Santa Security. After a couple of hours, they realized we were harmless and just wanted to have fun. We still got an escort, but they were just making sure things didn’t get out of hand.

    But feel free to hold your own Con in whatever form you want. Who knows? Your way might work better. The two times we tried it in the past, it failed miserably. Maybe times have changed.

  29. Amir Santa Says:

    Well I work directly with the police department, and considering that you can have hmm per say “beerfest” downtown and have it a bit spread out could be comparable to a santacon event with letting the city know what way your walk will go and working out the details in that regard, I have not researched it so I am not sure if its possible, but I am sure there are always exceptions. I obviously know what a cell is for, but its unfortunate that I might want to attend more then one and yes people ruin things for everyone, always worked that way. Especially someone that can not handle being a semi responsible adult with their liquor. I had a blast last year, and feel bad for people that are unable to get to the right one if they are comming from out of town. I do not have the intent nor want to put the effort to make a santacon work, I would put money and time in maken toys ect and planning, but its a bitch to be the leader. Anyways we should all have fun. In fact I hope some santa’s unite to have fun from other cons going on.

  30. The Real Santa Says:

    I had a feeling that you would bring up the ‘beerfests’. If you will notice, they have strictly regulated areas for drinking. And permits. And associated planning documents. That’s very different from offically acknowledging a roaming group of drunks. That would preclude trebuchets, storming malls (they would be contacted by the police ahead of time and most likely say ‘no’), public parks (alcohol is not permitted without permits- so hide that flask carefully and no jello shots), etc.

    Starting to get the picture? SantaCon is not strictly legal in the full sense of the word and you’ve just killed the element of surprise. If you think you can plan a better route, go for it. But telling people how to do something, while saying that you would not help do it, is simply being hypocritical. Step up to the plate. I did, these guys did, others did. Otherwise you really don’t have any say in how they plan things.

    Not saying you can’t do it. Hell no. I wish more people would. You don’t know what works unless someone tries it. If it works great, if not- you have a data point from planning next year.

    Your task for this year. Tell the herder at whatever Con you attend that they are doing a good job and offer to help if there is an overwhelming need. Can you do that for me? There were a lot of times when I needed help calming a situation, ejecting a drunk, or setting up an event. I’m sure the folks this year could use the help at times.

  31. nopdxanticon Says:

    I think the element of surprise is not what bar is next or what event we might be participating in…. but the element of surprise that the people not involved with the con get from seeing a sea of red!

  32. Santa NoPants Says:

    I second Real Santa’s comments about publishing the route. Yeah, “which bar is next?” is not exactly a season-ending cliffhanger type of suspense, but herding is largely a matter of piecing together many small things into one big picture. Everyone has their own catch phrases and whatnot, the one I usually utter is “follow the red blur in front of you.”

    The thing is, if you publish the route, you will get several people who will hop ahead of the mod so they can get served drinks faster. Nobody really cares if they get a beer ten seconds before everyone else, but in order to do so they have to bail on the group. They don’t sing with everyone else, they don’t laugh at the sight of one Santa falling over while balancing on the curb, they don’t get to participate in whatever you have set up between bars . . . a small number of people have slightly less social interaction than everyone else. Multiply this by however many bars you have and it starts to be a tangible feeling.

    Plus, in less vague terms, if you publish, they will come. Events that grow larger as the night goes on are much harder to cope with than events that grow smaller or stay the same. At noon, you will find that you are the only ones in the bar other than my uncle. At 4pm you have to make room for 15 people, which often want to join in on your fun and add to the atmosphere. At 6pm you get to mingle with 50 people eating dinner at a bar and spread the joy. At 8pm you have to elbow your way in. At 10pm you have to knife a bouncer and toss a tear gas grenade through the back door in order to get anywhere near the bar. If your crowd shrinks as the bar crowds grow, you get a sort of parity. If your route is known ahead of time, your crowd will soak up every latecomer, last-minute joiner, friend-of-a-friend, etc. For perspective: last year we had the brilliant idea of publishing the route to the public, and as a result you felt the need to get the hell away from the crowds this year.

    With that in mind, hey, buddy, would you tell me the details of your route in case I get dissatisfied with the other cons?

  33. Santa NoPants Says:

    Oh, hey, one other thing: that geocities page is not the cacophony page. I think Santoo is confused because he/she is looking at the page which has been around since long before I moved here, and you are talking about the geocities page that went up last week (which, like it or hate it, is pretty much only about Santacon-related stuff, not the Cacophony Society as a whole which does far more than just this one event).

  34. Amir Santa Says:

    Well regardless, I think that most police officers are going to be busy with the beer fest since no matter what, they have a event that is concentrated in one area specifically to drink, and well those people that drink are eventually going to need to leave that area. Also I am not an idiot, and know what I can, and cant do. So I am not worried about the police, or me going to jail. I think regardless though we should all have fun, celebrate the idea of spreading the red tide of santa’s. I think the NoPo santacon is a awesome idea. I love portland, but NoPo needs some loven too and they definitely have the right set up in the area to make a pub crawl/ holiday cheer work out well. People are always going to be idiots especially in the mob setting, groups encourage people to “let loose” a bit more. If you are stupid enough to get arrested, that is your bad. Anyways I am going to be in the Bah Humbug santa suit, rocking tone-loc on a stereo so you know what santa I am!

  35. Amir Santa Says:

    Also, it might not be legal, but if you are smart it doesnt need to be. So for those santa’s that are stupid enough to make it obvious well, there bad. If you learn where to bend the rules, and coordinate with public officials you can make a great event, I know though I am a busy guy but would donate 4 hours of my time a week to get a decent event going. Whatever you plan on doing though be safe, and dont go to the drunk tank lol

  36. Prickles the KLOWN Says:

    Santa NoPantz… thanks for the list! I’m still laugh/crying 🙂

    Santa, we know were gonna be in the PDX this weekend.
    We’re not sure of location, route, police, or shitheads.

    But godamnit Santa we know what trouble smells like.
    So Santa please make an effort to get your own Santas away from situations when they start to stink. Don’t be afraid to fuck off and go Santa somewhere else if things go South.
    This Santa does recall seeing idiots here and there, and there always seems to be a way to get away from them.

    Take care Santa, just keep your eyes open.
    Stay safe and remember that we are smarter than “Assface”


  37. Santa NoPants Says:


    The world is your oyster. The 14 blocks of downtown is the oyster’s sphincter.

    That said . . . this town is ripe for the Santa-ing. Lots of other spaces, just follow the red bur in front of you.

  38. Santa Buh Says:

    Too many haters! Let’s go! I’m ready! =)

  39. San Tatas Says:

    “Too many haters!”

    Stinky hippies.

  40. santa t-shirt beard Says:

    we did it right. nice work santa’s. see you all next year.

    “Dance Party!!!!”

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