Archive for November, 2010

A rough idea

Posted in NoPdxAnticon with tags , on November 28, 2010 by nopdxanticon

Some things to keep in mind…copied from the UK Santacon

1-The “route and schedule” is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. There is no head Santa in charge to call. If you can’t show up for the start or get lost, get the mobile number of someone who can help you catch up later. Depending on the year there may be guiding Santas, flags to follow or some technological Santanav system, or you may wish to come up with your own idea to help Santae find their way.

2-Santa dresses for all occasions. It’s December. Smart Santas wear layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or dancing manically in the shopping centre.

3-Santa doesn’t whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot – bring a bottle of water and enough “snacks” to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.

4-Bring small gifts – NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Visit a pound shop, wrap up coal, sweets and brussels sprouts; Santa loves stickers, hug vouchers and mistletoe.

5-Watching Santa get drunk can be fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley or breaking up fights is not. Don’t be that Santa. You are responsible for yourself! Pace your drinking and be nice to your fellow Santa.

6-Twisting the Christmas paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Have your own special surreal fun, but DON’T F*CK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa’s antics in the loving, festive spirit that Santa intends, if we are nice to them.

NoPdxAnticon Breakfast with Santa

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December 4th is closer than you think…

Posted in NoPdxAnticon with tags , on November 23, 2010 by nopdxanticon

As we get closer to December 4th, this Santa is looking forward to the days events. All info will be posted on Black Friday just like years past.

The first year we did this, bars were hesitant about having 75+ Santa’s drinking at their establishment. Now, for the most part are welcoming to the ‘holiday bonus’ that 1000+ Santa’s and Banana’s bring. Last year with the introduction of food carts helped Santa go late into the evening as well as bring in some much needed business right before the holidays.

Questions that are coming our way….

Q. What date is this happening?

Go back to school and learn how to read Santa. How the fuck do you deliver gifts to little Johnny and Sally when you cant even read? Why not take a minute you A.D.D. lazy fuck and scroll up (or down) to the image with big fucking black letters on it. Then read the date and time?

Q. Are you meeting at Skidmore fountain?

Ya, thats why we have an image of Paul Bunyan on everything. You go down there and wait for us, will catch up with you at some point. If you have made it this far, please read the last answer just above this one.

Q. Are you doing 5 routs again this year?

No, we are going to do 3. After a very long drinking session with Alfa Santa, Mexi-cant Santa, Irish Santa, Trashy Santa and Scottish Kilt Santa we thought that we would try and keep groups a little closer this year.

Q. How will we know when to go? After a few drinks Santa has a hard time keeping track of his pants.

Santa’s will be set up with signage as well as the usual megaphone so when Santa’s got to go you will not only hear it, you will be able to see it.

Q. What if this Santa is in the bathroom getting a bumpkin from a hottie elf and is left behind?

Thats disgusting Santa! But no worries, we plan on making stickers to let you know what and where we are going. BTW, do you have that elf’s number?

Q. Will stops be off the yellow line?

Yes. All stops are within a few blocks of the yellow line.

Q. I hear this is a big bar hop. True?

Yup. Aren’t all these things?

Q./Comment I cant believe you are doing this during the Civil War game.

Really? I’ll be sure to check in with you next year Santa so that we can go around your schedule.

Q. Last year it seemed that Prost! was a hub for Mississippi area. Will that be the same this year?

No. The hub for info on Mississippi will be the christmas tree next to Laughing Planet Burrito. One of the things we are working on is to get a photographer there as well as a Santa chair. I have a dream of creating the first ‘Bad Santa’ photo experience. So if you have a friends with a kid that would like a pic with his/her choice of Santa… Should start around 5:00PM

BarBar/Mississippi Studios has also given us their space to use as a hub.

Q. Guerrilla decorating this year?

Yup. The christmas tree mentioned above will need some Santa love.

Q. Santa, did I hear something about a dance?

Santa can not confirm or deny the possibility of Lucky Brown playing a show for us and then having a DJ or two afterwords. We will give you the full scoop on Friday.

Q. Will we be finishing at the Dancing Bare?

This is correct.

We probably wont answer any more questions after this.

Please remember that this is your ‘con’. Treat it well and you will be rewarded greatly.

Santa out!